Monday, November 09, 2009

Visiting Grandma

Since July 2008, there has been an added destination on my itinerary whenever I go home for a visit. One that was at first VERY difficult to go to, but has become more of a comfort as time has passed.

I go to visit my grandmother's gravesite.

It's hard to comprehend that it has been more than a year since she's passed. And each visit has stirred up different emotions. At first, all I had to do was just drive near the cemetary for the tears to start flowing. But eventually, those tears subsided and were replaced by a warm sense of peace that she is in a much better place.

This past weekend, as I took the kids to Friends Cemetary to visit her, I consciously remember thinking to myself that I wasn't sad and that I've come a long way in my grief for my beloved grandma.

And then we got back in the car and Mr. B innocently asked if I was sad.

I found it ironic that he was asking about something I had just thought about. "I'm not really sad, Mr. B, because Grandma is in a much better place and is no longer in pain...I miss her, but I know that I will see her again."

And as I spoke I could feel the emotions well up and my eyes became teary. I was in fact sad, no matter what I had tried to convince myself of otherwise. She's been gone for more than a year and I still miss seeing her smiling face, hearing her voice as she says Hellll-ooo and feeling her arms surround me with love.

I'm missing you grandma, today and always.

9 comments:

Loukia said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Grandmothers are very special, indeed. She will always be with you... and she will always be watching you all from above. And it is normal to miss her, forever.

Heather said...

(((hugs))) my friend. Many hugs.

Christy said...

Thanks for this post Michelle! I too miss Grandma very much. It is comforting to know that she is with Jesus!

Kevin said...

I have been thinking alot about her this week. Like you, I still get sad and do miss her.

Erin said...

Hi, Michelle. I'm still missing Gramma 20 years later. These sisters made powerful impression on those of us who love them. What a treasure for you to be able to reminisce with your children and pass her legacy to another generation.

Scary Mommy said...

Grandmothers are so very special. I miss mine and she's been gone 10 years. I hate that my kids never met her. Sigh.

Shari said...

(with tears) I miss her dearly!! She has made such a lasting impression on all of her children and grandchildren! What an awesome role model to follow! (more tears)

Amy said...

I'm so sorry. I miss all 4 of my grandparents still. A lot.

designHER Momma said...

ugh - I hear ya. So hard.

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