Sunday, May 31, 2009

Steps Forward

Some days, my son, I can't help but see you as my baby boy.

And then there are days, like today, that you grow up right before my eyes.

Since we first got our riding lawn mower three years ago, I have seen that glimmer in your eyes. And your STRONG desire to be able to drive it. We easily held you at bay the first year. Last year, I reluctantly let you "try" starting the mower, all the while secretly knowing that you were still to short to reach the pedal, while keeping enough weight on the seat's weight sensor.

Today, with your Dad away for the second weekend in a row (and with grass that DESPERATELY needed mowing) I gave in to your request to try the riding mower again. In my mind, it was supposed to play out like it had in the past. "Sorry buddy, still not tall enough. Maybe next year." And then I'd jump on the mower and ride away.

But imagine my shock when you pushed down the pedal, turned the key. And. The. Ignition. Started. The look on your face was priceless. You were shocked and beaming. I'm sure you were secretly thinking..."YESSSS! Yes. Yes. YES! Finally. Now get outta my way mom and let me DRIVE!"

Somehow, without me even noticing, you have quite literally grown up (you have now progressed to my eye level). And in those first few moments of your ride, I felt you slipping away, just a little. This is just one milestone on your journey to manhood...and the day that you will one day leave our home in quest for your own independent life. That time always seemed SOOOO far away. But today, you took one giant step forward.

Of course, seeing you drive around the yard in random circles, made me cringe a little at first. I consciously had to let go of my control issues of needing everything to be neat and orderly. But that quickly faded as I saw you give me a thumbs up with a huge smile on your face.

Mr. B, I am so proud of the "man" you're becoming. But remember to take it easy on your momma. She can only take so many "steps" forward at a time ;o)

6 comments:

Naomi said...

*wiping a tear from my eye*

It happens SOO quickly! Good for you though, for letting go ... and letting HIM!

Amanda Johnson said...

Oh Michelle... I am so sorry. I know that it's bittersweet. You want them to be strong and independent, but at the same time you don't want them to grow up.

I do believe that moving to Europe where the legal age to drive a car is 18 may help those heart strings stay intact a little longer.

Miss you guys.

Loukia said...

Oh my, how very emotional! I hear you, mama... it's so tough watching our little ones grow up so quickly, isn't it? My blog post today is about my oldest son riding a bike. That's a hugely emotional milestone for me!

Heather said...

They grow up so quickly. Its scary!

Mommy Fabulous said...

I've been getting so emotional over my own growing kids. I use to think OMG WHEN WILL THEY GROW UP! now, I'm crying because they are getting big too fast. I now understand whey people say enjoy them while they're young.

Found you at OHMommy's.

Scary Mommy said...

It's so hard! I know I am going to be the sniffling mess of a mom when I drop my oldest off at kindergarten next fall. :)

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